When the Caregiver Gets Sick

Yes, I am medically disabled. Yes, I deal with a lot of medical issues and use a wheelchair and am unable to work. But in many fundamental ways I am the caregiver for my mother. She has demylination of her brain and has a very limited functional memory. If she leaves the room looking for something odds are she will not remember by the time she gets to the next room what she is looking for. She loses things all the time. We have three sets of house keys so far. She mixes up medications. She does not remember to take medications. She does not remember to eat, or if she has eaten, or what she has eaten. She does not always know if it is daytime or night time. I am her memory for her. I take care of the bills and the paperwork, the items that place a demand on her brain that she cannot handle. I take care of the daily schedule and make sure meals are prepared and eaten on time. I set up her pills into daily pill containers and remind her at the right time to take her pills. I help her to remember and be calm and not feel afraid. Her body may be stronger in some ways, but my mind is stronger and so we work together,.
So what happens when the caregiver gets sick and there is no family to call in to pick up the slack? No family that cares enough to be involved and see the full picture and be willing to commit. No friends that can offer the help needed. Things start to fall through the cracks. When the caregiver is sick and out of the house, a telephone call can only do so much. Meals on Wheels provides one hot reliable meal per day. The others are a toss up. Medication administration that is so well planned when the caregiver is home falls apart. We finally had to set up for a home health care nurse to set up my mother's pills in the pill boxes for her each week while I am gone. But who is there to remind her to take them? I try to call each time a dose is due and remind her but I am not consistently available. Paperwork stacks up as it overwhelms her and is beyond her capabilities, for me to deal with when  I get home. Bank accounts get messed up without supervision. Her health, her quality of life suffers when the caregiver gets sick. And there is no back up plan for this in our society. There is no one to call to step in when the caregiver has to temporarily step out. I could not have planned ahead for this or found a respite placement for her, as it was an emergency situation. And yet the caregiver is responsible.