Homecoming

Today I was once again released from the rehab facility. I am so relieved to be free from all of the confines and limitations and difficult conditions. I celebrate my freedom and my overcoming and my accomplishments. I still have a ways to go, but I have gone so much further than I imagined possible. I use adapted tools for now (special dishes and silverware and pens) but will get back to using normal items. I still cannot do buttons or zippers or snaps or tie things but that will come with time. Thank God for pull on pants and super cute Sketchers tie-less shoes. I am able to do so much more than I could at the end of January and it is a blessing to be home. It feels weird to not be confined to such a small space, to be able to get a drink when I am thirsty, to have a choice over what I eat, to not share a bathroom with four strangers, to not have to wait until it is convenient for someone to give me my medicine. It would be better if my mother were not in the hospital right now recovering from a stroke and a serious infection. I am still lonely and still missing someone to talk to and be with.
Yet for so many at that place there will be no homecoming, no new freedoms, no return to family, no return to a "normal" life. That existence is all that they will know from now on and that breaks my heart. In so many ways it is so wrong. It is so neglectful, so undignified, so restrictive, so demeaning, so limited. People become diagnoses become problems. Many workers are there because they care and want to be there, but many are there because it is a job and it pays and they were hired. They do not have any investment in the job, any compassion, any dedication. It is a paycheck. The system is broken and after 3 months living it I can say how it is broken but not clearly how it needs to be fixed. There are so many things to fix and from so many directions - policy, hiring, staff behavior, staff ratio, facilities, etc.
Most of all tonight I am giving thanks for my return home and prayers for those that I left behind.

I have the Right...The Right...

Today (Tuesday) I hope to meet with a social worker as I have requested. There are several issues in terms of care that need to be addressed. I have the right to go to the bathroom when I need to, not an hour or more later. I have the right to not be ridiculed to my face or behind my back. I have the right to access my doctor when requested, instead of being ignored. I have the right to make my own choices about what I do and when I do it. I have the right to freedom of speech and to be heard. I have the right to know my own body better than anyone. Yet none of these rights are being fully given. The sad thing is that this is an average nursing home/rehab facility (definitely not the worst) and many people do not even have the ability to know or state their rights. I do not think I am asking too much or being unreasonable. I want to have dignity, self determination, access to proper medical care, and respect. I want to be treated as a human, not bed 205 or my diagnosis.