You Put Your Right Side In

I feel like I am playing a perverse game of the Hokey Pokey. First I had to put my left leg in, and my left arm in. Now I am putting my right arm in and my right leg in. Hopefully sometime soon I will turn myself about. Is that what it's all about?
Today in therapy I was able to move my right foot all by myself. This is the first time since the hemiplegic migraine that I was able to  move it forward without assistance and clear the floor (ever so slightly but I cleared the floor). Yesterday the therapist had my foot on top of hers to take steps and pushed my foot along with hers. Today I was able to lift it just off of the ground enough to move it forward. I am also working on getting my foot to move, both opposite of my left foot and together with my left foot. Any movement is good. I purchased a very cheap Kindle Fire online and am using it as motivation to use my right hand even just to slide across the screen with a finger or touch with an isolated finger, things I need to work on right now. As I progress I can download games that require more finger and hand usage.
My perspective for today is that while I may be physically falling apart, I am blessed to have my mental abilities. There is an elderly gentleman parked in his wheelchair in the hallway outside my door where he can be watched for his own safety. He made it from his bed to outside in under a minute and it is freezing cold out today. Thankfully there are alarms on all of the doors. He is considered combative and right now is sitting in his wheelchair having removed his gown and trying to disassemble his oxygen machine. He will be having someone sitting one on one with him for the night to help keep him safe. This is very uncommon in a place like this for them to allocate staff for a one on one situation and probably will not happen again. That is why he is out in the hall, so he can be watched by current staff. He desperately needs individual attention, a dedicated aide, and a safer place to be where he cannot easily get from his room outside. Yet this is the best that his family can do for him right now and that makes my heart hurt for him. Carrying the gene for early onset Alzheimers disease it terrifies me to see how those with dementia are warehoused and treated in our country. We need better options, we need better services, we need better places and people and ways to treat those in need. We can do better and we must do better.

Reality Check

I have an unknown Mitochondrial disease. This means that the energy production in all of the cells in my body is not proper. It can cause a lot of unpleasant symptoms and limitations, including death. The reason it is unknown is because my DNA came back abnormal for mitochondrial disease but not in any pattern they have seen before. Yes, I have to be an original. Along with those DNA changes are associated changes for a high prevalence of Bipolar Disorder and Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease. I already have Bipolar Disorder. Being here has faced me with the very real possibility of what my life would look like with Alzheimer's disease and it is not comforting. I do not want to lose all of my dignity, my value, my worth, my humanity, my individuality by living in a place like this. It is scary enough to think about slowly losing memory and body function. In Early Onset Alzheimer's the disease usually lass longer because the body is not yet changed by age. I have a profound appreciation for what these people's lives are like and would love to find a way to make them better. I want change for if this happens to me, but also for those to whom it is already happening.