If Only in My Dreams

There have been way too many musical acts coming here during Christmas. If I have to listen to one more caroling group I am going to resort to throwing objects out of the room at them. I need a marshmallow shooter. I did pull up my big girl panties and try to go to one of the concerts. The man and his wife tried hard. But the line was crossed when they sang "I'll Be Home for Christmas". Totally not appropriate. There are too many people who are stuck here, many permanently, who would rather be home for Christmas but cannot be. This is my first Christmas ever without being with family or dear friends. I am finding it hard to really care. This year it seems like just another day at the Hotel California, where I checked in but can never leave. I am rocking my ugly Christmas sweater T-Shirt (it is too hot in here for a sweater) and my light up Santa hat and trying my best to care. It is just lonely, and frustrating, and sad. I guess this year I will be home for Christmas "If only in my dreams".